Fix You
by Tashah2109
Summary: Rusty/Sharon. Exploring the developing mother/son relationship. Will Rusty ever believe that he was worth trying to save? Possible one shot or may be continued.
1. Chapter 1

**I have had a rather long break from writing fanfic, but after getting into Major Crimes in a big way in sparked something that made me determined to get this onto a page. I haven't decided whether this will be a one off or to carry it on. I would love to know what you think. I haven't used lyrics before, but I just think the song is so perfect to describe the Sharon/Rusty relationship. Thanks for reading.**

 **Fix You**

' _Lights will guide you home_

 _and ignite your bones_

 _and I will try to fix you.'_ – Fix You – Coldplay.

What do you do when something is broken? Do you toss it away and replace it? Or do you spend the time trying to put in back together again? Why does it matter? It matters to me because time and again in my life I've been thrown out with the rubbish. No one ever spent the time trying to put the broken kid back together again.

That was until I met her, the woman who took the time learning about all of the pieces before carefully trying to put them together again. Her name is Sharon Raydor, and she saved my life.

Walking through the front door of the condo Sharon frowned as her eyes started to adjust to the darkness surrounding her. She frowned before glancing down at her watch maybe she was later than she thought. As her eyes focused she could make out the hands confirming it was only just after 9. 'Rusty?' She spoke out into the darkness, trying to hide the slight concern in her voice. It wasn't like him to go out without letting her know.

Sharon reached across and turned on the lights. She walked across to the sofa and laid her bag down before removing her shoes. Scanning the room she noticed the trainers he had been wearing earlier in the day on the floor by the kitchen, with a jacket laid across the back of a chair. Rubbing her hands across her face she took a deep breath. The meeting between Rusty and his biological mum clearly hadn't gone well.

Pushing herself up from the sofa she walked over to the kitchen and took a can of soda from the fridge. She paused for a moment and removed another one before closing the door of the fridge behind her. As she reached the door to Rusty's bedroom she paused for a moment before gently knocking. As she had expected there was no response from the room. 'I'm coming in…'

Sharon wasn't sure that she would ever get situations like this right, it had been a trial and error thing since the first time but this was bad and she knew it almost straight away. Choosing to turn on the uplighter in the corner of the room it filled the room with a gentle light, as expected the light showed the curled up figure lying on the bed. Feeling a lump rising in her throat she swallowed hard, this was not the time for her tears. It would never cease to amaze her how small he looked lying there. He was taller than her standing, yet in these moments he always looked like a child… her child, and whether he knew it or not right now, he needed her. Sitting next to him on the bed she put the cans of soda onto the table next to the bed before reaching over and placing a hand on his duvet covered arm. She could feel him shaking and it took all of her will power not to hold him into a hug straight away.

'I bought you a soda…' Sharon wasn't sure whether or not it was the right thing to say, but she needed something to break the tension that surrounded them. She ran her hand up and down his arm a few times before moving a hand to move the duvet surrounding his face. She stroked the damp hair back from his eyes.

'What flavour?' The tear ravaged voice came from beneath the covers. Rusty rolled onto his back before pulling himself up to rest against the headboard. He pushed the covers onto the floor before pulling his knees up into his chest.

Sharon let the corner of her mouth curl into a smile before reaching across and picking up the two cans. 'You choose.' She held them out and let Rusty choose his flavour.

Rusty opened the can before moving across on the bed and making space for Sharon to sit next to him, there was a time not that long ago when even the thought of letting someone see him showing any sort of emotion, let along his tear strewn face would have terrified him completely. This was different though, he felt completely safe. She made him feel safe.

Sharon watched him move and realised that it was an invitation. She felt her body relax, he wasn't chasing her out of the room, instead he was letting her stay, he was starting to let her in. 'How long have you been home?' She spoke as she moved next to him on the bed and pulling her legs up on copy his position.

'Couple of hours I guess.' Rusty glanced across to the clock on the wall and realised it was a lot longer that he had originally thought. 'I was going to come to the office, but I wasn't sure I could let them see me.' He stopped, there was no need to carry on. They both knew that there were some barriers he hadn't broken down yet, and being that emotional in public was one of them. 'I would have called, but you had a case and you. Well you didn't need any more of my baggage. You do so much already Sharon…'

Sharon looked at the boy who to all the world she loved as her son. She was prouder of him than he would ever let himself believe, and seeing him this hurt again broke her heart. She placed her soda can down and turned her body slightly so she could place a hand on either side of his face. 'Never think that you can't phone me Rusty, I hate the idea of you sat her alone. Yes I have a case, but sometimes family comes first.' Reaching across she placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before moving back.

Reaching across Rusty took her hand in his, not ready to lose all contact yet. 'I don't think I'll ever get it Sharon…'

She cocked her head at him. 'What?'

'What you see that she can't. How the woman who gave birth to me could…' He turned his head away, knowing that another tear was threatening to fall. He swallowed hard. 'I don't understand how you can want me… when she can't.' He forced himself to look back at her. 'What's wrong with me Sharon?'

'Oh my God Rusty, there is nothing wrong with you.' She couldn't stop herself moving her arms she manoeuvred them so Rusty was leaning into her and she could hold him close, once again rubbing gentle circles across his back.

'Then why am I here? With you…' He stopped before looking at her. 'I didn't mean that, God Sharon I will never get why you want me, why you… Why you love me.' He looked at knowing it was true.

'It isn't about the why Rusty. Circumstances bought us here, but know I wouldn't change any of it. Your Mothers loss is my gain, and I will always be here. Always.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh my goodness, thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the first chapter. You are amazing people and made me exceptionally happy.**

 **In terms of the fic I didn't really have a definite idea about where it was placed. Sharon Beck is in rehab, so around 3x04 I guess, but from here it will take a different AU ish path. Not massively though, I just wanted to explore a different path. This chapter is the first part of a double header; the conversation will carry on in Chapter 3. Thank you.**

 **Chapter 2**

For the fourth time in as many minutes Sharon checked her phone. As she saw once again no news she placed the phone back on the table before leaning back in her chair. Rusty had left for another meeting with Sharon Beck over three hours ago. Considering the fact that visits to the rehab centre were only a maximum of ninety minutes he had already been an hour longer than she had expected.

Hearing a knock at the door she pushed herself forward and pushed her hair behind her ears. 'Come in.'

'Sorry Captain but there's some forms I need some signing off to finish the case.' Andy walked into her office. He paused for a moment. 'What's wrong?' He quickly pushed the door closed behind him and sat in the chair opposite her.

Sharon looked towards him. 'Rusty should have been back by now.' She clasped her hands in front of her before wrinkling her nose. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't untie the knot resting in her stomach.

'He would have called you if there was a problem Cap… Sharon.' He had watched the relationship between Sharon and her foster son grow and strengthen for the past years. He wished that he could take away the worry, but as he knew all too well, it came with being a parent.

'I'm not so sure about that Andy, there are still some things that he struggles with.' Though she hated to admit it there were certain things that Sharon still found it hard to get Rusty to open up about. She got glimpses of his relationship with Sharon Beck, but she would be lying to herself it she thought that he shared all of it with her. Reaching across the signed the papers and handed them back. 'Thank you Andy.'

He nodded at her before picking up the papers. 'He'll be back soon.'

Looking up from the report she had finally finished Sharon had to double check the clock. A further two hours had passed. Taking a deep breath she picked up her phone from the desk and dialled Rusty. As the answer message started she spoke. 'Rusty it's me, Sharon. Please let me know when you get this… I just need to know your safe.' She hung up.

She waited a moment before dialling his number again. Her first intention was to simply hear his voicemail message. So when he answered the phone she let out a little gasp. 'Rusty…'

'Sharon…' The voice was shaking as it spoke back to her. There was a definite quiver in his voice and it started to break her.

'Where are you?' Sharon didn't even realise that she had stood from the chair she sat on. 'Do you need me to come and get you?' She grasped the side of the desk to stop herself from shaking once more.

'I'm coming up now. I'll see you in a minute.' The phone line went dead before Sharon could speak again. She should have been relieved that she had heard from him, that she would be able to see him a minute. Yet how could she when there was something so clearly wrong.

She sat and waited and waited. The noise and commotion from the murder room was the first realisation that he had arrived. Sharon covered her mouth and tried to hold back the tears. Every possibly scenario was running through her mind as the door flung open and Rusty came through it before pushing it to behind him and leaning his head against it. His body was shaking as he tried to calm his emotions.

Sharon walked over to him and placed a hand on his back rubbing circles around it. 'I was worried about you.' She rested a hand on top of his. 'Look at me Rusty…please…' Gently she started to turn him around so she could see him.

'Sharon I'm sorry… I'm so sorry.' As he turned around he waited for the gasp that he knew was coming as she saw the deep scratches across the side of his face to accompany the swelling starting to form to the side of his mouth.

'God Rusty…' She gently placed a hand on either side of his face and without thinking rested her forehead against his. 'What happened?'

He looked at her and failed to stop the tears from falling down his face. 'I couldn't do it anymore Sharon. It just felt like a lie, all of it.' He walked over to the side of her desk taking her hand so she would follow him. He sat on the desk and kept hold of her hand as she sat next to him.

Sharon cocked her head as she looked at him. 'What did?' She was moving her thumb across the top of his hand in a gentle movement. It was taking every ounce of her being to not walk straight into Taylor's office and demand that the woman was put into prison, one set in a desert far away from the rest of the population.

'She started talking about you, and it was fine… But then she started saying things.' He broke off before taking a breath. 'She kept saying how this was temporary, about how you would get bored of me… How you wouldn't want me anymore… You would get bored and throw me out.' His voice broke on the last word.

'Oh Rusty… They were just words; she was trying to hurt you…'

'Sharon hold on. I need to finish.' He looked at her, ignoring the tears that were still rolling down his face. 'I know all of that, and I told her. I don't want it any more Sharon. I always thought that she loved me, and that meant it was ok…' He couldn't stop himself, so he flung his arms around her. 'I realised Sharon… I didn't know what love was… Until I found you…' The last word dissolved into heart wrenching sobs.

Sharon didn't speak for a moment; she just rubbed circles on the boys back while holding him close. She waited a moment before she spoke close to his ear. 'It won't ever change Rusty, I love you so much. If she can't see that then it's her loss. Not yours…'

'I don't deserve understand what I ever did to get a second chance Sharon, but I'm going to make the most of it.' He pulled back but once again kept hold of her hands. 'I told her, that I've found someone who wants me, and I told her… That I wish I had been lucky enough to have you as my Mum.'


End file.
